A short while ago I wrote that I was going to “monetize” my blog by inserting ads provided by Google… a service they call AdSense.

It’s not a simple process if you really want to make money. I read a few books and watched a few videos. I signed up for the AdSense program, and then started inserting dummy code where Google could place the ads. This took the best part of a week.

Then I clicked a button to tell Google I’d completed this process, so they could check, and start the insertions. Instead, they sent me an e-mail to say I had not complied with their policies. Well, they sent an e-mail in Thai, which told me nothing, but one of Google’s other services is “Translate” which did a good job of producing something I could understand.

But, Google being Google, they don’t bother to tell you which guideline, or lines, you’ve violated. So I spent more time checking the site against the guidelines, couldn’t see a problem, and resubmitted the activation request.

Today, after being rejected for a third time, I checked in at the AdSense Forum, and asked people there for help.

Well, what I didn’t know, is that Google has ‘bots’ – automated programs – that check your text for offending words. They call them “stop words.” And I have some. I may have a lot. But, since they do this automagically, they don’t consider context.

In one article I mentioned the Sex Pistols. It was something about Virgin Records and nothing about sex. You can’t say sex. Heck, I probably can’t even say “Virgin.” In another article I said “Porn.” I was explaining that that’s my name in Thai. But, it seems, I’m not allowed to tell you that. Not if I want to make money with AdSense.

And you may remember I jokingly called the limestone hillocks that are common in this region “titties.” I used the word many times. That probably burned out a few chips in Google’s servers.

So, I’d like figuratively to set fire to one whole server by saying “Screw You Google.” AdSense is just one of many ways to monetize a blog. I’m already working on a Plan B, one that means I can say titties any time I want. That’s my kind of ad supplier.

In fact in a matter of minutes, I signed up with a service called Chitika – and if you’re thinking bananas, you misread it just as I did. Thanks to a WordPress plugin, I already have ads in the blog. Super-simple.

Maybe I won’t make as much money, but I really have no interest in writing about Mary Poppins and Santa Claus. In fact one forum member said you can only stay signed-up with AdSense if you write for seven year-olds who haven’t been to Neverland.

Hopefully this article will be found by anyone thinking of using AdSense, and as a result they will not waste as much time as I have.

Rant mode is now OFF.